A Pile Of Thoughts

2010-02-14T23:19:00.000-08:00

There are times when I feel like shaking people and screaming at their faces. As if loud voices can move someone out of their apathy. I want to grab them and pull out everything they do wrong. Everything that they don't have together and say, "Look at yourself! Where do you think you'll end up with that decision?"

"But wait. I don't know which way to go.
I don't have the means to.
Damn it I'm not ready.
I just want to really sit here and evaluate my life."

What the hell do all these responses mean? Are these really the answers that we offer up to the one that we acknowledge as God? Questions only get us so far. They establish position and maybe give us clues as to which way to start moving. But they don't do much after that. Start moving and start living.

Neurotic

2010-02-10T22:45:00.001-08:00

An empty apartment. I am sitting on a couch in an empty apartment. There is a Christmas tree. This Christmas tree contributes nothing to our apartment. It has a single red ornament. It is a bland ornament. My roommate's jalapeno plant is sitting on a ledge. It's leaves are spicy, though I have not tried them. How do you extract the pepper from the plant? Rich Shapero created some multi-audiovisualconglomerationofsenses thing called Wild Animus. It details the life of one man's experiences with LSD. Wild Animus.

I need to study.

Milk Money

2010-02-09T23:02:00.000-08:00

Apparently lactose intolerance isn't the right term to describe the symptoms that most of us experience after we drink milk. Our bodies aren't exactly intolerant to lactose, although lactose intolerance is a real term that describes a violent reaction to lactose intake. It is more correct to say lactose maldigestion, because the term describes our body's lack of the enzyme lactase to break down lactose.

I know all of this sounds insanely interesting but the reason I bring this up is because I started drinking regular milk again. I made the jump from Lactaid on a whim after learning that our bodies can actually build up production of lactase if we take in milk in small amounts. But it really is a process of trial and error. Drinking enough so that you don't go over the edge but have enough to enjoy cereal. I love cereal. It's the easiest meal to have next to Tyson's buffalo wings, which by the way are damned fine wings for being in the frozen section at Ralph's. I eat a lot of cereal and a lot of cereal requires milk. Not a lot of milk, but certainly more than the cup recommended to those who can't digest lactose efficiently, namely me. So this game of drinking enough milk but not losing it in the bathroom has been a struggle. A huge struggle. More often than not, I've lost.

I've written a haiku to help the pain (literally).

Milk, you are milky

And expensive to me

Give me calcium

Not For Sale

2010-02-08T19:20:00.001-08:00

I've been reading this book called Not for Sale by David Batstone. It's a book on human trafficking from an international perspective written by an American journalist/professor. And it's been an issue that's increasingly tough to ignore. It's easy to sweep a lot of the world's dirt from your mind because it's not something you experience. Definitely not something that a 20 year-old American experiences. Batstone brings this issue to light in a way that neither patronizes nor condemns the reader. There is no pedestal for the author to step down from because he was once just as ignorant as most of us are towards this issue. The book is a mix of anecdotes and just plain facts about human trafficking.

If you've ever thought about human trafficking or wanted to learn more about it, I would say that this book is a great place to start.

7 Posts

2010-02-02T23:45:00.001-08:00

That's the number of times I've blogged last year. Only 7 times. A lot has happened in a short amount of time and I think it'd be a good idea to blog about it so that I can take a step back and see things clearly.

First off, small groups! I did not know that teaching was so incredibly time-consuming and difficult. I've learned much more about God's word through teaching a bunch of guys that have incredible insight and perception into the text. Much more so than me. I have been humbled by sophomores, challenged by seniors, and led by freshmen. Never have I been in more need of grace and wisdom from the Spirit. It's been a great challenge so far.

bright lights

2009-08-13T00:59:00.001-07:00

I saw a pretty terrible accident last weekend while driving down to LA on the 5. One car was completely demolished and the parts were laid out all over side of the freeway. I don't remember how the other car looked but I remember driving by the scene slowly and for some reason I felt nervous. I think it was because I didn't want to see a dead body laying on the highway. Even blood would've been too much for me. Police officers and the drivers from the accident were outside of their cars, either talking or waiting, probably both. What if someone actually died from the accident? Nothing new, car accidents happen daily. But, this is one body. More importantly, this is one soul. This is one soul that is claimed by either heaven or hell. Death doesn't seem like too big of a deal sometimes because of how common it is in our society. At the VA hospital there was an old man who was given a 14% chance to live (I don't know how the residents get this statistic). But he was just another case to the doctors, one weak heart of out many others. Death is not exactly like that looming shadow we seem to characterize it as sometimes, it's more like that sign that pass by everyday while driving. It's just there, we don't look at it much but we know it's there. And I don't think about it much, but death means a person is going to spend eternity either in place or another. And eternity seems to be the governing variable/principle/x because without "eternity" death seems to lose much meaning. Eternity is forever. An unquantifiable amount of time for one person to be in a place. We can't waste time thinking about all the lost souls in this world, but just thinking about one should be enough for us to toss aside our fears, insecurities, and pride to do what God asks. But He is in control and that gives me much hope.

I am going camping on Friday!!

2009-07-07T22:18:00.000-07:00

I am finally settled into the new apartment. We're still missing a couch but besides that things look good. It's a pretty good place for the price, though the amenities are terrible. Summer in San Diego has settled into a semi-routine; I've been going to lab and then the hospital right after. It gets pretty lonely here when David and Bob are gone so I need to definitely do something better with my time. It's strange how there are so many people around me but I don't feel like calling them up. But each day is a blessing and God is continuing His work in me.

2009-06-07T23:41:00.000-07:00

I really miss you.

2009-03-28T09:43:00.000-07:00

Spring break is almost over already but I'm looking forward to next quarter. Grunion runs, Hillsong concert, Jon Foreman concert, fun genetix class, more VA hospital fun, senior banquet. People are generally the happiest during Spring quarter and I think it's because of the weather. It's sunnier so people are less inclined to spend time in their rooms.

I saw two movies this week. I don't think I watch movies at the same rate I did in high school or even last year. I saw Blow Out and To Live and Die in L.A. I didn't like either and I don't think it's because they were both done in the 80s. Make that three, I saw Watchmen.

I haven't read the graphic novel but I did like the movie a lot. The universe feels like a grimier Gotham City, like all the stuff that goes down in Batman's crib that you don't see because of the PG-13 rating.

My favorite character was Rorschach because he had a freakin cool mask and he looked like Steve Nash. I couldn't take him seriously at times because I felt like he should've been playing basketball and not spending his time in prison harassing midgets.

Done?

2009-03-20T22:53:00.000-07:00

Finals week is over! Sort of cathartic, but not really. Scripture really settled all anxiety for me because Philippians is one awesome book. Today I saw some documentary of the countryside in China. For some reason I began thinking about missions. I was planning on going to Germany this August but I guess that didn't work out. The video showed an old woman and her husband on this duck farm. The husband grabbed a duck by its wings and with his free hand grabbed a pencil-like object. I wasn't sure what the object was but the husband looked as if he was going to make some markings on the duck. He took the pencil instead and jammed it straight into the duck, making an incision down its chest and pulled the duck's still-beating heart out. Chinese people do it raw.

An Inconvenient Minute

2009-02-05T15:58:00.001-08:00

Ah...the awkward hour in between classes that allowed meh to bloged. Yesterday I met a dog named Checkers. Well, it was more like observed, because I observed Checkers and her master. She was a fetching a frisbee and he was getting a latte. They were in harmony.

One of my roomates last year is leaving for USC...

We will miss you Cyrus.

This week has been really restful.. no midterms or quizzes. I slept for ten hours last night, a rare occurence for me. Even though I start class late, I've been sleeping late and waking up early for some reason.

You Never Let Go

2009-01-28T23:50:00.000-08:00

This quarter has been going by fast. It's already the fourth week even though it feels like I've barely come back from winter break. Sun Diego is the same. Blue skies, nary a cloud in sight.

I just took my ochem midterm yesterday. It was amazing.

I am still stuck on page 20 of Evangelism and the Sovereignty of God. It is an amazing book.

I'm playing IM bball again and we're called Balla Boiz this time. Last quarter we ended up with a perfectly mediocre record of 6-13. This quarter we are relentless.

Tomorrow I'm going in to the VA Hospital for my internship. I hope it is amazing!

yes we can

2008-12-31T05:31:00.000-08:00

I just read this on bbc:

"An extract from grape seeds can destroy cancer cells by encouraging them to commit suicide, US research suggests."

Grape seeds encourage cancer cells to commit suicide? THAT'S CRAZY.

Grape Seeds: Hey, uhm Dan?

Cancer Cell: Yes Jim?

Grape Seeds: Would it be a tad bit inconvenient for you to kill yourself?

CC: Yes, yes it would Jim.

GS: Well, would you be willing to do it all the same?

CC: No.

This seemed funnier in my head.

2008-12-19T11:38:00.001-08:00

Try to get this song out of your head

Google Lovin

2008-12-19T11:18:00.001-08:00

I have almost switched completely to using Google Chrome. It is much faster and has simplicity on its side.

Pinocchio

2008-12-14T21:57:00.001-08:00

Random facts about the original story of Pinocchio:

1. Jiminy Cricket told Pinocchio that boys that don't listen to their parents grow up to be donkeys. In retaliation, Pinocchio throws a hammer that crushes Jiminy.

2. Pinocchio's feet were burned off as a result of sleeping on the stove.

3. Pinocchio gets hanged.

4. He's a puppet, so he survives the hanging.

via the Wiki

2008-11-09T10:25:00.000-08:00

My parents are coming to visit today. It's kind of strange because not seeing them for about 2 months made me want to really see how they are doing. I guess that just means I miss them.

I caught up with David last Friday to eat and just to see what's up. He gave me a great reminder that we should always be on our toes as Christians. There is always an opportunity to introduce Christ into conversations, to be a light to others, and to welcome the outsiders that enter our church. That is huge for me. As part of Inreach it's also a personal goal of mine to make visitors feel welcome. I have failed greatly at times. This is sad because at one point or another in our lives we used to be those outsiders, those people that hang out in a church courtyard looking around, waiting for someone to talk to them. I was reminded to never show favoritism. We all deserve and need fellowship.

tumbling

2008-11-04T00:25:00.001-08:00

I've decided to create a tumblr so that things don't get too messy. I'm going to start posting up all the stuff I write in and outside of class.

Tumblr

2008-10-31T11:18:00.001-07:00

Lately I've been falling out of the rhythm of doing my devotionals. I cannot question how much we stand to gain from spending this quality time with God. It has been a frustrating week and I realize that depending on yourself will never get you far. You need support, strength and fellowship. What you base your identity upon is so important. Christ tells us that He is the vine and that we are the branches. This passage alone from John compels me to stay close to Him. It has been a tough week even without midterms and quizzes, staying disciplined in the word is a hard thing to do. But I think it's well worth our efforts and our devotion.

Sick Rhymez

2008-10-28T23:15:00.001-07:00

It is not fun to be sick.

An Aquastrian's Tale

2008-10-23T20:08:00.000-07:00

An Aquastrian’s Tale

So listen, this is how I met Maenon. He had dark skin and always had this look on his face that makes you feel like you’ve pissed him off even if you kind of just stand there. So I think that’s a lesson in itself, to never stand in one place but anyway that’s for another day. So basically, one day I was back up there to collect the Loamy samples and I accidentally forgot to leave behind my oxygen-carrying case. You know, because you don’t like need it up there in the real world with its trees and where people look at you funny. But anyway, so Maenon was this angry guy that lived up there and when I first met him I was a little worried about what he was going to do to me. He kind of just grunted and stood there like a gargoyle when I greeted him. Can gargoyles smile? Anyway so I was collecting the Loamy samples and I was almost finished when he later came up to me with his beefy arms and muddy face and told me that his name was Maenon. He shook my hand and I felt a finger crack. I squeezed out, “Hi, I’m Kirk.”

“Oh you’re one of those water boys aren’t you?” He said, looking at my oxygen box. “I suppose so, if you want to call it that but we prefer the name Aquastrian.” I looked at him suspiciously. Maenon immediately moved on. “So tell me, water boy, what is it like down there? What do you guys eat?” “It’s uh- well there’s, you know, some sort of l-” I stammered.

“Yeah that’s interesting; I once ate dirt in a tunnel. You ever did that?” Maenon said looking at me with that twisted scowl.

I looked at him for a second. “So I’m going to go now because I really need to return this sample back to my place.” I said, picking up my oxygen box. “That’s the Saloan Loamy soil, isn’t it?” Maenon ignored my comment, looking at the bag of dirt I had in my bag. I said back to him, “Uh, yeah we’re trying to create this environment that might be able to sustain life for a month on its own because we’re doing this overhaul thing that… what are you doing?” Maenon slowly crept up behind me, softly patting my hair. “Your hair needs conditioning”, he said with a frown. “Here, come with me back to my place and I’ll give you a bottle of conditioner that’ll soften your tangles and give your hair a little pep.” I thought this was odd, seeing as how Maenon was bald but I didn’t think twice of it. Before I could reply he yanked on my arm and off we went.

We walked through this strange jungle that I later found out was called the Aquastrian Grotto. There was a sweet, tangy smell. It was packed with trees and some monkeys that were on top of them swinging around. They stared at us inquisitively, and then one of them spoke. “So Jim, how’s Saturday sound? I have to keep the kids on Friday because their mother refused to take them, saying the weekend hadn’t started yet.” I looked at the monkey and I suppose the one named Jim that replied back, “That’s a shame Cecil. You sir, have the heart of a lion. ” He then whispered something to Cecil after glancing at me that made both of them chuckle. I suddenly felt the splotches on my face start to rise and I walked away quickly, embarrassed. Looking back, I saw the monkey named Jim jump to another tree where he started whispering into the ear of a monkey and said something that made her giggle.

Maenon cleared the brush in front of us with a few swift hacks from his machete. I felt glowing warmth arise from the path ahead of us and saw two torches brightly lit. They illuminated a path with carvings on the ground marked with people that looked like me. There were three panels, each more artistic and vivid than the next. On the first panel, there was some sort of a tribal leader that sat on a huge pedestal looking really nervous. A person that strangely resembled me was carefully laid out on a huge slab of stone, with his arms crossed across his chest and a person with a knife next to him. On the next panel, the chief gave a thumbs down and the person with the knife started to dance. He had good technique. So he started dancing and the person who looked like me looked like he admired the person’s dance technique as well because he started to squirm a little. The third panel was half-crossed out and when I began to ask Maenon I suddenly saw darkness.

My head hurt when I woke up. I was looking at what I thought was the sky, except it was black and there were trees around me. There was a slow chant next to me and when I turned my head to my left I saw about 70 pairs of eyes staring back at me, with painted faces. They looked like people keeping vigils with their arms raised forward. I turned my head to see what their arms were pointing at and I saw him.

It was the tribal leader, his head decorated with a showy cap that did not go well with the cape around his shoulders that resembled small mountains. He slowly gave a thumbs down and I turned quickly to see who he was looking at. It was Maenon, except it wasn’t him. Well, it was definitely Maenon but he was dressed in this terrible dark brown shawl and he was flexing his arms and shouting in a strange voice. He started to dance and his footwork was really impressive, except I could not turn my head all the way down to see how he was doing it. When he finished, he shouted again in this loud baritone voice, “The King is done!”

So that’s how Maenon and I met. We got along pretty well after that, our written agreement was that in exchange for my life I had to deliver him an Aquastrian once every month or he’d come stomping back down here with his tribe. That’s what the loud noises were last night, the ones that woke you up. So just remember your number, it should be 247 or something like that. Anyway, we’re only at 139 so don’t worry. It’ll be a while.

nope

2008-10-21T23:19:00.000-07:00

So the IN-N-OUT rumor was untrue. They are not reverting to their 1948 menu when cheeseburgers were a dime. Such a shame but life goes on.

friday cries

2008-10-18T01:40:00.000-07:00

2 midterms on Monday makes me want to cly no good. Yes.

ron and ted

2008-10-18T01:36:00.000-07:00

Ron’s thin wiry frame misled a lot of people who felt like he should not have been a police officer. No, he looked more like a pen salesman than anything else. Ron’s sandy hair and his droopy blue eyes looked misplaced against his thin, gaunt face. He knew enough about justice to uphold it. He was a police officer, if anything else.

Ted was new to the force. He was only 21 years old, but had already graduated from college with a very clear understanding of justice. The Rodney King incident was still painfully ingrained in his memory; he could still remember the black, struggling man overwhelmed by police officers surrounding him in the video shown by his professor. It was a brutal, graphic video, eye-opening in every way. Ted also carried a picture of his family in his wallet for good luck when he joined the police department.

Ted was assigned to Ron’s department, meaning Ron was going to train him and be responsible for him if Ted messed up. On their first patrol out on the streets together, Ted looked around his legs, finding old newspaper cutouts and some scattered pens with caps that had been chewed on. There was a musky, sour scent near the back of the patrol car they were riding in.

“Someone vomited there last night,” Ron said, noticing Ted wrinkling his nose as he looked back. “The guy had to go into detox and kept yelling the entire way. You should’ve smelled the guy, the thing was like a mixture of curry and sweat.” Ted was silent but Ron went on. “I saw a man last Wednesday wandering around with a belt around his neck. He was shouting at people and we had to get off and stop him. You’ll mostly come in contact with these kinds of crazy people on the job but the most important thing to remember is tha—Ted interrupted him. “What do you mean, ‘these kinds of people?’ Ron looked at him in surprise. “Wait, what? I didn’t mean what you thought I meant,” Ron said but Ted cut him off again. “I know, but I’m just saying, it is a gross social injustice to see people still wandering around the streets, going from point A to point B because life to them doesn’t get any better than that.”Ron’s mouth was still open as Ted continued, tightly gripping his hand with the other. “And you know what the worst part of that is?” Ted asked as Ron started to shake his head.

Up ahead at an intersection, Ron slowly pulled to a stop, trailing behind a faded white 87 Volkswagen. The Volkswagen slowly accelerated as the light turned green while a mother quickly sped past the red light with her son, failing to see the Volkswagen. In an instant, it was all over. The mother’s Toyota slammed into the Volkswagen as shattered headlights, smoke and debris interrupted the morning air. Ron and Ted immediately stopped and ran out of their car as Ron called for backup while Ted looked at both cars. He immediately moved towards the mother and son as a crowd of pedestrians surrounded the scene.

Ted first got the boy out and then the mother. There was a two-inch gash on the boy’s head where he had smashed into the car window. The mother’s right arm hung limply from her side but she was able to walk. Ted led them away from their car and onto the sidewalk.

Ron ran to the Volkswagen and looked at the person inside. The seat buckle was caught on the person’s arm. Ron slowly untangled the buckle and quickly stripped off his uniform top, using his undershirt to stop the blood that was now seeping down the person’s forehead. Ron took the driver out of the car and onto the sidewalk where they listened for the ambulance.

Later that evening, Ted laid in bed, wondering what the pedestrians thought of him and how he handled the situation while Ron carefully scrubbed away blood and dirt on his uniform, sighing at the thought of how long it’d take him to finally get the stains off.

Bad Experience

2008-10-13T01:15:00.001-07:00

So The Peter Chiu Experience got off to a bad start... we lost all our games. There was a guy we played against that looked a little like Dave Chappelle.

saturday morning sunshine

2008-10-11T14:35:00.000-07:00

Things I like on Saturday mornings:

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Carrot Juice

NBA 2K9

La Jolla Breeze

Long Ride

2008-10-11T10:17:00.000-07:00

It is still dark outside. I check my alarm clock, it’s 2 am. Denise’s breath feels warm and uncomfortable. I brush her arm away and sit up, looking at our bedroom wall. It is a pale yellow now; it was brighter when we first moved in 8 years ago. Somewhere near our dresser Ben’s name is scrawled in a broken bluish color. I enter the bathroom and turn on the light. A slight hum from the light bulb lets me know that I am the only one up. I put on my shirt; a cheesy stain on a handcuff makes me stand in front of the mirror for 15 minutes. My tie is wrinkled, but I’d be lying if I said there are more important things to care about. I stand in front of the mirror, twisting the knot on my tie. I wonder what Denise left for me in the kitchen.

The kitchen looks the same as it did last year. And the year before. I eat slowly, my mouth taking in eggs and maybe some ham. I swirl the coffee in my mouth for about a second, letting it settle into my throat instead of drinking it all the way through. The clock on the oven says 2:18 am. I have my lunch pail, my newspaper, and a thermal of coffee for the trip.
Yawning, I go back into my room and look at Denise. A steady stream of light from the hallway sneaks a peek at her sun-dipped hair through the doorway and she rolls onto her right side. Her hands are pale and they tightly grip the pillow. She mumbles something before she turns onto her other side again. Her back faces me and I look back at her for a second before closing the door.

Outside the cool air is sharp and dewy as I make my way to my car. I turn on the ignition and my hands grip the wheel. I sit there for about 10 minutes, thinking how to start. Backing up would be a good idea. Looking over my shoulder, I slowly back out of the driveway, making sure I don’t knock over the trashcans.

Once I am out on the road it is much easier. Though it is a 40-mile drive, I’ve made thousands of these trips already. I usually get there a lot sooner as long as I don’t think about him. But how can I not? These seat cushions still seem to carry Danny’s blend of teenage sweat and bitter cologne. There are some scattered brochures in the back, the Michigan one is dog-eared and noted on the front with the word save. Denise and I thought it was too far away, but I guess that was the very reason why Danny wanted to go.

I see a dimly lit billboard on the road where a smiling boy has on a pair of glasses, Clearview something. He has an awkward look with them on; the frame is too big for his eyes and his hair looks as if it hasn’t been cut in a while. I look at the billboard for another second before I pass it.

Sometimes while driving this early in the morning I fall asleep for a second. But in those accumulated seconds I see Danny’s life. He was a quick kid; he played soccer when he was younger just because he wanted to outrun the other kids. I don’t know if he got the point of the game or even tried pursuing the ball; it was enough for him to just outrun the others, even his own teammates.

So here I am, fighting the urge to close my eyes. The 34th streetlight passes by and it makes me think of home and how one time I caught Danny staying up late with the lamp in the family room just to see if I really did leave at night on my own and not get carried away by trolls in nightgowns with sharp claws and hammers. He was holding his baseball bat and told me it was just in case the trolls do come.
I hear a soft, faint voice.

KFWB brings you around the clock news and the latest traffic reports. You give us 15 minutes, we’ll g-- I shut it off. I roll down the windows and breathe in the dark, cool air mixed with the exhaust from the cars ahead. I look forward onto the road and remind myself again that tonight is different. Each night can be different if I had the courage. If I only had the courage.

so that

2008-10-10T16:56:00.001-07:00

So that's my short story I wrote for class. I'm not sure why I am drawn towards writing about things like that, but I find myself captured by tragedies. Pain is something we all experience and I guess it is really on paper where I find it beautifully expressed and the chance to be examined, dissected, and understood. I wrote another one right after this one, from a different character's point of view.

By all means, criticize, judge, insult, give feedback for the stories. I welcome all comments!

Guitar Hero

2008-10-10T16:52:00.000-07:00

It was Christmas. I could tell, because even though it was still dark outside my heart was beating wildly inside and my back ached nervously from thinking about the covered treasures underneath our Christmas tree. I wore a pair of socks before getting into bed last night so that my parents would not hear the sound of my feet lifting off from the hardwood floor. The gentle hum of the refrigerator told me that I was the only one up. I peeked around the corner and into the family room. I saw dad’s newspaper unfolded and splayed out on his chair, so I tiptoed over there and looked at the dark, bolded letters. CHRISTMAS LIGHTS UP EVELYN LN. The word felt tingly and the coffee-scent of the paper smelled wonderful. Christmas. It was finally here. I looked up from the paper and at the Christmas tree.

In total I got a baseball, a brown leather jacket with five pockets, a small stuffed dog named Chip whose tongue stuck out a little, and a Christmas mug. And then, there was my guitar. I had told my brother Danny about this guitar a few months ago when I saw it on display at Werk’s Music Shop. I didn’t think he heard me when I told him about it because he looked as if he was thinking about something else.

It was a black Rogue 50 with bronze strings and a body that smelled fresh and piney. The strings made a soft wrrang as my fingers brushed against them. The silver pegs twisted softly as if tension did not exist in this perfect guitar. I saw my reflection on the back of the guitar, its glossy finish staring back at me. I traced my fingertips along the silver lining of its body and continued to do so until I remembered Danny.

I quickly ran to Danny’s room and, shoving the door open with all my strength, leaped on top of him and hugged him. “You got it for me!” I screamed. “It’s perfect thank you so much!” Danny inhaled deeply and groaned. “You’re welcome, Ben.” His tussled hair covered part of his eyelids but when they opened, I saw a pair of grey eyes staring back at me. Danny smiled and looked at me. “I’m glad you’re happy, now get lost and let me sleep.” Danny’s eyes were foggy from the morning and his breath smelled funny.

I heard my mom call for me so I quickly ran out of Danny’s room and sprinted into the family room, where my mother pointed my attention towards the Christmas wrapping that laid strewn all over the floorboard. I got on all fours and started collecting the wrapping, bundling it up into a large ball of green and red and blue and white and all the colors that made up Christmas.

A week later, I had already practiced and memorized most of the major chords on my guitar. My calloused fingers no longer stumbled through the notes, they were now hardened veterans. Danny would pop into my room every so often and say something like, “I should’ve gotten you something else. You sound terrible.” I would grin when he’d say something like that and he’d return my grin with another. But on some days Danny would not return my smile. He would just say it and then walk away. He looked at me as if I shouldn’t have been playing. On those days I’d put away my guitar and not touch it for days.

One day, when I was sitting on my bed playing with my Rubik’s cube Danny silently walked right next to me. “Um, hey Ben, I’m going to go out for a little bit. Don’t tell mom because she’ll probably start to worry and give me all this crap about leaving right before dinnertime. I’ll be right back okay?” “Okay,” I replied slowly. The cube started feeling warm and sweaty from my hands. Danny walked out and I soon heard the door shut. The Ford’s motor started chugging and its sound soon faded from my bedroom. I could not hear Danny anymore.

“Dinner’s ready, wash up boys!” I heard my mother shout across the hall. Still holding onto the cube, I walked to the kitchen and sat down. “Where’s Danny, Ben?” Mom asked. “I don’t know, he told me he was going out for a bit,” I replied, still twisting and turning my cube. “Well, he better not expect me to still have dinner out for him when he comes back,” Mom said. We ate without talking much after that, my eyes darting back and forth from the cube in my hand to the plate of food in front of me.

There was a sharp knock at the door. “Ben, go get the door but remember to look out through the window first” Mom ordered. There was a man in a uniform when I pulled the curtain back and looked at him. He stared back at me, as if he was hurt. “Mom, there’s a man in a uniform outside our house, I don’t know who he is!” I shouted to her in the kitchen. She came out in a hurry, her wet hands still soapy from the dishes. Mom looked out the window, just as I had, and opened the door slowly. “Is this the Gibson residence?” The man in the uniform quietly asked. “Yes, it is,” Mom said as she put her right arm around my shoulder and held me close. The man looked at my mom, his pale eyes sharply focusing on her face. “I’m sorry Mrs. Gibson, but your son Danny….”

I saw Danny’s face again. His hair was still tussled, his sturdy build challenging the suit tailored for him. He was lying down with his mouth turned slightly, as if he was returning the smile that I expected from him. His arms were folded gently across his chest, as if the person who tended to him knew he wanted to be like this. “Hey Ben,” he almost said to me. Hey Ben. I hate myself whenever I think back to that day, because all I could think of at that moment was how I hadn’t touched my guitar in weeks.

a softer world

2008-10-10T16:45:00.001-07:00

Man, I am teh suck at updating. School has been busy so far, my writing fiction class is starting to pile up the werks. Harvest is great, I joined Compassion Ministry and we make birthday cards, get well cards, and care packages for people, among other thangs.

I did write a short story for class though, I'll put it up.

I started an IM bball team with my rooomates, we are 'The Peter Chiu Experience'. We will shatter dreams, hearts, and a few knees.

in short, my life!

2008-09-26T14:57:00.000-07:00

I noticed this lady sitting next to me in Chemistry. She had a typewriter and was taking down everything the professor said verbatim. Even something like this:

THE STUDENTS: (LAUGHING)
THE TEACHER: So you will have 2 midterms and quizzes that will surface...

It was like a script! My life in Chemistry will basically be a movie if I sit down next to Typewriter person. I can only think about how exciting class would be if I was the professor.

PROFESSOR PING-MEN CHIU: Now class, sometimes in life we must swallow our pride and admit that we are wrong. We are fallible beings and a broken bunch, life does not endlessly-

A STUDENT: (Shouts) SHUT UP PROFESSOR! YOU POMPOUS, ARROGANT, BUT RIDICULOUSLY GOOD-LOOKING GENIUS! I HATE YOUR HAIR!

PROFESSOR PING-MEN CHIU: Okay sir, please make your way to the front of the class.

The professor glances around nervously at the class to see if anyone notices his self-esteem crumbling.

THE STUDENT: Okay, I will come but no funny business! Don't try anything stupid.

PROFESSOR: Cecil, I shan't do such a thing.

Cecil makes his way to the front of the class and stands next to the professor.

The professor picks up Cecil with one hand and flings him down to the floor. He then leg drops him. The entire class cheers and admires the professor for his strength.

THE PROFESSOR: CLASS....IS....DISMISSED...

Cues music.

The End.

2008-09-26T00:26:00.000-07:00

Today was a hot day. It was also the first day of classes. The only class I had was writing, which wasn't too bad but we didn't do much. The professor is great, she has a lot of tutors. They all write. A lot! But that's cool; by the end of this quarter I'll have a 10 page short story up. Hopefully it'll include all my favorite things in life: basketball, Eaton Canyon, 7x7s, and Spike.

Day 5

2008-09-24T10:34:00.000-07:00

Nothing much has happened here. I've realized two things here at San Diego so far: If you don't party or don't have a fellowship, things will go by reaaaly slowly. That is, until school starts. I went back to the gym after a summer of animal fries and things were not good. There's a Harvest bonfire at La Jolla Shores tonight. And I've also realized something. People really challenge me in the sense that they force me to be outgoing. You need to be outgoing and willing to do things in college. Embrace it now and just know that most of what you'll probably do in the long run will benefit you. Except fantasy sports, there are no good fruits coming from that activity.

My roommate James cooked us dinner last night. He made baked chicken with pineapples, mushrooms, carrots, and teriyaki sauce.

Mugridge is a pretty cool guy. Eh cooks chicken and doesn't afraid of anything.

moved in

2008-09-21T17:42:00.000-07:00

I am finally unpacked and settled into my cozy triple in Sun Diego. Yeah, I have two roommates again. But I decided to room with the guys from last year and we have a kitchen now! It is amazing how many things you can think of buying when having a kitchen seems like such a new experience. Our apartment isn't as nice as the ridiculous ones we stayed at during the retreat but I'm not complaining. This is much better than the rat cave I called my room last year. We just bought a bag of rice from 99 Ranch Market but no meat or even a little bit of K-9.

Went back to Harvest church this morning, it was great to see familiar faces and people I haven't talked to all summer. Waiting for school!

2008-09-18T14:06:00.001-07:00

"... Why does green mean that's the color green? Why can't you say another word for green being green? Know what I'm saying?"

-Stephon Marbury

The NBA needs this man!

mystory

2008-09-15T23:56:00.000-07:00

I didn't realize how many people were so bitter towards the new facebook layout. I just got an invitation to a new facebook layout hate group, with the admin's email labeled as suckitnewfacebook@suckit.net.

life it seems

2008-09-15T23:50:00.000-07:00

Today we had our last bible study with Pastor Theo until winter break. It's been hard to gather us all together but the weeks that we've been able to meet up have been good. I've learned quite a bit and patience has been one of the harder lessons. But yeah, Experiencing God is good stuff.

i gotta tell ya

2008-09-14T21:03:00.001-07:00

So my dad somehow backed up into my neighbor's car with my car. He was pretty bothered about it but honestly, I am pretty relieved. It sounds strange but a new car is kind of a hassle. I felt obligated to maintain its good looks simply because it was brand new. WAS. It no longer is! But really, I am glad that it is now scratched and imperfect.

More importantly, my parents went to church with me for the first time in the five years that I've been going to SGVAC. Earlier this week I just asked my dad if he wanted to see what I've been doing at church and he simply said that he'd think about it. He later asked my mom if she wanted to go and she immediately said no. She told me last night that she was too busy taking care of my grandma and had no time to go. I didn't say anything and she kept on going until she slowly changed her own mind. She self-pwned. My parents are both in semi-sour moods because of the whole car ordeal but hey, lyfe iz gud.

scrubs

2008-09-11T01:22:00.000-07:00

Working at the hospital was great today. The nurses constantly gave me things to do and I managed to clear and make about 10 beds. Exciting! It also helped that I worked with another volunteer from UCSD and that Rey our technician gave us cookies. Our volunteer coordinator came down to the ER room to let us know that she was revamping the program. Pretty soon we might be able to undertake more hands-on tasks like taking blood pressures and uhm, surgery.

As I was about to leave the hospital I saw Jeff! He took me to Fanny and I got to see Rachel. She is as small as a notebook which is frightening but amazing in a miraculous kind of way.

fail

2008-09-09T16:28:00.001-07:00

We went to Monrovia Canyon Park, but the trail was closed, so we hiked to McDonald's. What a great morning.

the economy of mercy

2008-09-07T20:33:00.000-07:00

A lot happened today and I'm not sure how everything will turn out. I know faith is difficult. We are human after all* and we understand only so much as we are allowed to. Whomever or whatever we believe to claim the limits of our mental faculties also tells us what is reality. I have had moments of "Where exactly are you Lord", moments that seemingly do not have answers. But I don't think that our spirituality is always engaged in battle with our intellectuality, or that our brains will ever quell the questions of our hearts.

At the same time, my mind allows me to understand why it is that I feel for a rabbit that passes away (it happened this afternoon) or what the lump in my throat told me when I saw my dad lying on a hospital bed . There are things that our hearts just KNOW, without any explanation. And I do not think it is foolish or intellectually weak to completely trust these intuitions. Dawkins, in the God Delusion, condemned such people who seemingly see with their hearts and reject the blatant knowledge that things are not what they seem, yet he fully supports the idea of "moral intuition" in which we just KNOW the correct moral decisions without ever addressing the why.

What I'm trying to say is that it is completely legitimate to "listen to your heart" or whatever you want to call it. That is God calling out to you. And you are able to address doubts about this call through prayer, the Bible and people. This has personally been a tough lesson for me to learn, but it is happening. Doubt enters me as soon as I find myself straying from God's spotlight. Christ tells us that He is the vine, and that the Father is the gardener. If we remain in Him and He in us, then we will bear much fruit. Apart from Him we cannot do anything. We must always remain committed to God in order to see the fruits of our works and this is especially difficult. It takes time, discipline, and patience but I am willing to say that it is worth it. I know with my heart it is worth it.

Faith is hard. Belief in God is hard. But living life without addressing this truth or seeking it is even harder.

*to whom do we compare ourselves to be able to make such a statement?

my grandpa

2008-09-05T23:04:00.000-07:00

On top of the computer desk my dad put photos of my grandparents. Old, black and white portraits of my grandfather and grandmother. My grandfather looks a bit like a Chinese Abraham Lincoln while my grandmother looks exactly like my aunt. I've never met either of them but I wonder how my life would be different if they were around during my childhood. My grandma from my mom's side has taught me a lot about respect for elders and in observing her relationship with my mom, I see glimpses of how my mother was raised. It sounds strange but I'd really want to go back to the era of China when my parents were children. How that world is so drastically different than mine! It helps me understand how incredibly difficult it'd be to transfer values and perspectives when you have two completely, distinct worlds trying to cross each others' paths. How do you deemphasize a world and its concern for success and wealth when it has built/destroyed its identity upon those values? On a side note, another reason why I'd want to go back to that time period would be to witness how the complete erosion of education came about (the Great Leap Forward). How would equal minds EVER work out in life? I do have a love for China, a country/world I've never visisted but only observed through books and television. It is definitely a place I'd want to go to for missions.

2008-09-05T22:57:00.000-07:00

We tried tackling Mt. Wilson today. It was not pleasant like Eaton Canyon, we did not find any trees or bunnies that greeted us with water. Instead we came across minimal shade, dramatic inclines and heat. It was very hot. We barely trekked .5 miles before we hung our heads in shame and made the pathetic trip back to our car. But we had a consolation lunch at the Hat and McDonald's.

yes?

2008-09-05T08:52:00.001-07:00

The weather is starting to warm up I should have hiked a little earlier. O well. My dad built a shelter (not sure what you call it) for these grapevines. We shall have grapes soon.

late night breaks lock here the tires squeal

2008-09-05T01:38:00.001-07:00

Somewhat interestdaying at the hospital. A man came in because of a heart attack so I was able to observe how the doctors treated him. Other than that, I mostly went through the same routines as yesterday, except I did a lot more errands. I had to replace the oxygen tanks underneath the gurneys, I transported gurneys, transported patients, and I met Ray the technician guy. He was pretty cool and showed me some things around the ER. Anyway, I'm going on another hike tomorrow so I should sleep.

Methinks

2008-09-03T21:19:00.000-07:00

I started volunteer work at the Emergency Room today. Didn't do too much except wander aimlessly around for about a good 15 minutes until the place started picking up. I worked with an ex-nurse (is that too harsh?) who showed me some simple medical procedures. By simple I mean changing beds simple. But you start somewhere. I mostly followed some nurses around, transported a patient, talked to some patients including an old woman whose husband was in the ER for the fifth time this year. As soon as you enter the place you realize there are a multitude of smells that you go to depending on the section of the unit. The office area smelled like coffee, the treatment room smelled like feces, the patient rooms smelled like lysol. And somewhere in between those places I smelled strawberries, urine, and fresh linen all mixed together. I was able to witness different tests that doctors/nurses administered to patients as well as the kinds of questions they asked to assess physical and mental health. One elderly man who had suffered a stroke thought it was 1997 but he still knew the time.

Consistency

2008-09-03T09:37:00.001-07:00

I'm starting up a new blogger with the same account, it'll focus on literary junk that I'll write throughout this school year. I wrote a short story during jury duty last month so I'll have that up pretty soon! Sweat.

High King

2008-09-02T00:54:00.001-07:00

I went hiking with my family today, or yesterday actually. It actually turned out pretty well, my parents were able to make it through the rocks at Eaton Canyon and Spike managed to not get attacked by other dogs. There was a group of people near the waterfall with about 10 other dogs. Spike was the only one barking and was harassing a german shepherd. He's not the smartest dog in the world, but he's pretty entertaining. Rebecca went with us as well, it was kind of her send-off to college. Three more weeks and then off I go back to Sun Duego.

August Slow

2008-08-12T04:26:00.000-07:00

No post yet for August!

o praise him

2008-07-09T23:50:00.001-07:00

I found David Crowder's xanga. Or what I hope to be his xanga. He's pretty hilarious, in one post he wrote about peeing against a wall. But anyway, this post is not about musicians I admire that write about the ethics of peeing on walls. Tomorrow I am planning to bring Spike to the beach. I understand the consequences of such a decision but I feel that it is high time to bring the demon dog out and show him a bigger world beyond his Temple City cage. He will smell the ocean air, feel the coarse sand underneath his paws and probably pee on every square inch of the beach. Lately he has been following my grandma more and more still which is strange because he's usually attached to either my mom or me.

I've been reading The Alienist lately, which is ridiculously good reading. I've missed a good crime thriller novel and this book is certainly satisfying. It employs all the facets of a well-written novel- a good title, a good synopsis (is this used for books or just films?) and a shady picture of the author in its book jacket. Wait it doesn't have a book jacket. But it does have a shady picture of its author. He has a crazy mullet that reminds me of Stephen King pre-Shining.

sacapuntas

2008-07-02T23:37:00.000-07:00

Music can help heal you in times of distress. I have faith that music can do much towards starting the healing process after something tremendously dramatic has happened in a person's life. Music can provide a raw honesty that other mediums lack, like movies. A huge part of a good movie is its soundtrack, in some examples I've found myself liking a movie much more because of its music. But music, as great as it can be, isn't enough. It cannot by any means be your main source of strength and hope. After all, I find most mainstream songs nowadays to be essentially a composition of emotions with smatterings of personal convictions and beliefs. We cannot find firm footing with songs such as these. For that we must take a long look at what we believe and place our trust in.

how goes it

2008-06-24T23:27:00.000-07:00

Job search weak. Energy waning. Summer fading. Two weeks into summer and I have yet to find anything. I realize why a suitemate of mine went home a couple of weeks before school started to apply for jobs. All the high school sharks have taken them. So right now I am waiting on a restaurant and I'll probably apply to PetSmart if this doesn't fall through. So sad, that gas station.

food

2008-06-19T09:31:00.000-07:00

A guy from Virginia lost 86 pounds eating nothing but McDonald's. Too bad his diet consisted mainly of chicken wrappers and salads. If there was only a McChicken diet...

vromans 3:22-24

2008-06-18T22:59:00.000-07:00

I'm filling out a Vromans job application right now. It asks me how long I've lived at this address and I realize it's been 8 years. 8 years since I moved here from Alhambra, when I was about 11. Time becomes much clearer once you are older. I've lived here for 8 years, but it feels way longer than the 11 short years that I've spent in Alhambra. I don't really remember what I did in Alhambra. I did "things", but not a lot of meaningful "things". Granted, I was a kid, but as a kid you can still do meaningful "things". I think it's because your years are composed of memories, not seconds. A laugh about vietnamese accents lasts longer than the many years I locked myself in my room playing Streets of Rage 3 and Vectorman. Great games by the way.

So today I'm going to get some guitar strings so Rebecca can teach me how to harmonize. She is pro. Youth camp is only a week away!

2008-06-17T10:31:00.000-07:00

untitled

child of dust

2008-06-16T22:36:00.000-07:00

So the whole EMT plan for summer did not fall through because of youth camp conflicts. But dat's kool, y'know? I've decided to work for the entire summer, I'm currently looking at a couple of places. I've turned in an application to Borders, I'll probably turn in another one to Osaka (Japanese restaurant) tomorrow. I was listening to this song called Child of Dust by Thrice and near the end, I realized that the volume got significantly reduced. Thinking that it was my laptop, I checked the volume on my iTunes but it was still the same. I looked up the song and found that the band buried a mic and had the singer sing through the dirt to fit in with the song's message. Man, that is cool. The song itself is simple- 2 voices, soft piano accompaniment in the background. The effect of the song, though, is felt through its message. Near the end of the song, you hear dirt being shoveled onto you, a person at risk of truly dying. Shaznat.

Big Muskle

2008-06-15T23:02:00.000-07:00

I am glad to be home! I think it'd be a good idea to reflect on this past year because so much has happened. I think in this Spring quarter alone I've learned and grown more than I've had with 2 years of high school, maybe even all 4.

School
College has been an awesome experience so far. I've thought much about what I'd like to study and what type of careers I'd want to pursue. I came in thinking I'd find satisfaction sitting in front of a machine and feeding it commands. I later realized my brain had to be hardwired ahead of time in order to sufficiently command another type of mind what to do. It wasn't until later on this quarter that I really looked into medicine and tested to see if it was something I'd be willing to pursue. The time, the effort, the costs, it just felt like too much of a sacrifice to be a physician. But at the end of the day, I felt that it was the only type of work where I'd be constantly motivated and passionate. Dedication to people was my primary motivation for thinking about medicine. As for a major, I have yet to decide. I would love to be a writing major, but not necessarily write as a career. Reading foreign language novels at an upper-divisional level is not appealing, neither is having to take 12 different writing classes for the major. But anyway, that is probably the most significant part of this year as far as school goes. I realize that all my plans can suddenly be kaput, because my "plans" for the future are definitely not in my hands, and righteously so. James 4 says," Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

The Suite Life
Ha, my roommates James and Cyrus have been some of the most interesting people that I've met. Earlier this year we compared each other to animals. I saw James as an awkward, slightly homosexual giraffe while Cyrus was a mix between a gorilla and a sloth. They are both hilarious and friendly. James tried taking a picture of me while I was sleeping during finals week. I wanted to throw a bottle at his face. Cyrus has revealed himself more physically than I wanted to see.

Harvest
At the beginning of this year I wasn't sure what kind of fellowship I was looking for, just that I wanted to look for one. I ended up going to a friend's for a couple of weeks, but felt that it didn't exactly provide the spiritual challenge I wanted. David and I ended up at Harvest on a random Friday night, I think it was near the end of fall quarter. I liked it a lot, but laziness got in the way and I wasn't really involved until later on in the year. My grandma suffered a stroke around February (if I can remember) and so I had to go home often on the weekends. It was not until winter quarter that I went camping with the fellowship. It was a great experience and immediately when I came back from the trip I sought out a small group. I ended up in one that I found to be challenging but incredibly refreshing. It was here, in this small group that I developed a true love and desire for scripture and realized that I could not ignore the beauty of words written by a perfect author. I found myself looking at verses that I thought I had read for the thousandth time, realizing that my own selfishness had gotten in the way of an accurate interpretation of the word.

It was around the 8th week of this quarter when a speaker came to our fellowship and spoke on the topic of fear. It was a simple message and yet it had a profound effect on me. I dug deep and found that pride and selfishness were at the bottom of my reluctance to care for and appreciate Harvest. I was afraid that emotionally investing myself into other people would detract from the investment I had made in my friends back home. Earlier I blogged about coming out of my shell and I prayed about that. God made it happen. It's a shame that the quarter is over, but in that two-week period, I've gotten to really know people and to care for Harvest. Man, how liberating it is to believe in Him. I find freedom, confidence, and security in God's promises. I can almost do anything. But I still can't dunk over Eric Lui, grow to 6'5 like I originally intended, or lose weight.

Speaking of weight, I've gained a mere 10 pounds over the course of this school year. Not bad, except everyone noticed and were quick to point out that Peter suddenly had a Peter Jr. in his stomach.

Anyway, I've covered about as much as I want for now, I'll probably add in a little bit more here and there.

I love the book of James. So incredibly applicable.

"But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere."

-James 3:17

A New Start pt. II

2008-05-20T00:59:00.001-07:00

I was looking through my archives and realized there's about a 5 month gap between the third month of posting and college. This angers me! How am I supposed to feed the children if I cannot even write consistently!?

I found this off of a friend's blog:

"Please sir, don't go after my children. I am a single mother and my kids need a fatherly figure.
Haha got that from Peter."

THIS MADE ME LOL.

sunshine won't you be my mother

2008-05-20T00:52:00.001-07:00

Scooters, vacation, fall.

4 more weeks until our first year is done! Today I saw a cute-looking dog while walking to Muir's dining hall. It had naice golden fur and a naice face with some naice teeth.

It looked delicious.
If I was in a different country during a different time period, I'd be happy.

So my suitemates picked out an apartment for next year. It overlooks the entire campus. Yes, we are at the top of the world.

a friend(s)

2008-05-18T00:08:00.000-07:00

My definition of friendship's changed. I used to hold perhaps a lot of people to the same standard. It was probably something like this: If we can have one meaningful conversation in which our relationship has somehow changed, we're homies until we die. But friends don't necessarily always need to meet that criteria. I don't think friends usually do. I'm thankful for friends that have helped me out in any way. I consider most people I know a friend. I'm not sure where I'm going with this. Hey you sure you still want to keep reading so tomorrow I'm going to church. It's really hot right now. I am talking to Winston, he's in San Luis Obispo. Obismo? But anyway, he's coming back Memorial Weekend, and he recommended that we watch Made of Honor.

You know who showed the greatest act of friendship?

two legs one dream

2008-05-15T00:05:00.001-07:00

Hey Pistorius

You're the reason why I'm still up. You don't even have any legs and I feel you kicking my head. It hurts stop it! I had to write about you, you know? I didn't think that you'd be that important, what with you missing your legs and all. But I guess you are. And now you're trying to get into the Olympics? YOU DON'T HAVE LEGS! Sometimes you have to know when to quit buddy. You know how I know when to quit? When I realize I don't have legs. But this isn't about me. This is about you. You know, I wasn't able to play IM basketball this quarter because our team signed up too late, but you know I'm not crying over missing legs. You shouldn't either. Well, you have your prosthetic ones and you call them Cheetahs. You know what I call mine. Real legs. Because they are real. Pistorius, I don't like you. But I will still give you a standing ovation while one of us still can.

-No

please, for the children

2008-05-08T01:59:00.000-07:00

Today I felt the pain
Is that you, my rain?
I felt my world's insanity
So I kept to myself
I couldn't stand the sound
Of the door shutting
So I kept my foot
On it
It hurt!
But please, voice in my head, go away
I am troubled enough to listen to you
"Empty conversations filled with empty words"
There.
I think that describes what I mean to say
But cannot put into words myself

beetleborgs

2008-04-26T23:05:00.000-07:00

Today my BLACK suite mate came BLACK from his track meet, where he ran BLACK to BLACK races. He went to take a shower and when we was in the shower stall, I found a BLACK beetle that had been wandering around our suite all day. I tried to throw it into his stall but but it bounced off the top metal lining that holds up the shower curtain and landed on my shirt. I screamed and ran away.

hellogoodmorninghowyado

2008-04-22T11:36:00.000-07:00

I have a midterm in about an hour so I thought I'd stop studying and watch my roommate play NBA Live. He's using the Blazers (okay team) against some guy online using the Pacers (terrible). The uh Blazers have red jerseys. My folder is red right now. The 360's fan is really loud. Loud noises give me a headache. Spike's barking gives me a headache.

Spike has been shadowing my grandma lately and even sleeps at the foot of her bed at night. He is a strange dog, his loyalty to the couch takes precedence over his loyalty to his family. He has mixed priorities as a dog. I bet he's confused. At 2:45 pm today I'm supposed to meet up with my writing TA and talk about my paper. Don't tell her, but I didn't do much to my paper except change my thesis a little. Ha she is crazy.

I had soy milk today with Raisin Bran because if I drink regular milk my toilet will change color.

My roommate has dirty tactics in the game. After the opponent makes an inbound pass, he'll position his point guard right in front of the player and draw an offensive foul. He'll then go over to the other end of the court, draw a defensive foul and make one free throw. Just one. He'll miss the next one on purpose and his center will grab the board and put it up for an easy 2.

I saw Good Will Hunting for the first time last Friday. It was a good movie, I think the point of it was that we should not be the guy in the painting. Well, sometimes we can't help it. We're on a boat, stranded in the open sea and the colors around us are chaotic. They swirl and confuse us but if we keep looking in one direction then the colors won't be so bad.

Silk

2008-04-13T22:34:00.000-07:00

I finally tried the chocolate-flavored soy milk and it lives up to my expectations!

and they love it and they love it and they love it

2008-04-09T21:43:00.001-07:00

Our student center is expanding and that means more fast food restaurants. Burger King is coming soon. I have prayed fervently for this day to come. Triple whoppers with cheese DAILY!

a simple way to solve you

2008-04-06T00:48:00.000-07:00

So I've finally picked up one of the many books I bought last summer and started reading it. I'm almost done with Sherlocke Holmes and the Hounds of the Baskervilles (although I'm pretty sure Sherlocke isn't part of the title). It's one of the best mystery novels I've read in a while and man, it's easy to tell how many ideas from the novel have been stolen by other books, movies and shows.
Hm!

:0-)
-:-)
"there is no emoticon for what i am feeling"

-comic book guy

lolhi

2008-04-05T11:13:00.000-07:00

It seems like Alex (my suitemate) has fallen into his Saturday comas. His radio alarm has been blaring so loudly for the past half hour that even I heard it outside in the common room.

Ohp, Denny's. LOL DELICIOso.

today

2008-03-27T21:58:00.000-07:00

My mom asked her co-worker to gather some people from her church to come over to our house to pray for my grandma. My grandma ended up falling asleep so she went off to bed and my mom ended up listening to the gospel. Everything was in Mandarin, so I had a tough time following along. I caught bits and pieces of the their conversation, but it all went well. I'm grateful that the opportunity sprang up. Crazy things do happen.

8:45

2008-03-26T20:45:00.001-07:00

I feel so old now. It's not because I just had my birthday yesterday but because I'm already tired. It's only 8:45 and I'm already yawning non-stop. It's been like this for the past week. Ohp, there, I just had another one. I wonder how my friends and I will be when we're 50. I'd like to think that we'll crack the same jokes, eat the same food at Zen Buffet (unlikely if we want to live past 50), and maybe compare the SAT scores of our kids.

charlie bit my finger

2008-03-20T00:42:00.000-07:00

I'm currently trying to make better use of my time so I started looking for famous people that graduated from my school. Here's who I found:

-James Avery (Uncle Phil on Fresh Prince)
-Jon Foreman, Tim Foreman, Chad Butler (Switchfoot)
-Benicio Del Toro (Traffic, uh Mexican actor)
-Mike Judge (Producer of King of the Hill and Beavis/Butthead)

Those are some of the names that I immediately recognize. More if I find.

look dude

2008-03-19T23:48:00.000-07:00

So my grandma gets to leave the hospital this Saturday so that's good news. We're gonna start looking for a special seat for her and probably anything that'll help her move around the house easier. Her memory hasn't been that great so hopefully that'll get better. She forgot my name last night but remembered it this morning. It's encouraging to see how quickly she's recovered. I hope she'll be back to her old self.

i loled..

2008-03-18T21:25:00.000-07:00

I met and had a conversation with quite possibly the most talkative (and probably insane) guy I've ever met in my life. I was boarding a bus on my way to the Solana train station when I saw that the bus had very few seats left. Rather than trudge my way through to the back where I could've been alone, I opted to leave my luggage near the front and took a seat next to Mr. Crazy. He wore a blue denim jacket with a sweatshirt underneath even though it was about 75 degrees out. As soon as I sat down next to me he noticed that I had two luggage bags and loudly asked,"Pizza delivery! Give me pizza!" I knew immediately that I had picked the wrong seat to sit on but I masked my discontent well. I chuckled and avoided eye contact.

He started talking about how professors (he wasn't a student) nowadays had boring, digital voices that droned on and on and never lectured with any interest. I didn't think much of it until he started telling me how he would've handled being a professor. "Alright, so you see over there how the grass is green and kind of yellow and stuff? I'd dye that patch of grass purple and that other patch blue and then ask the class, " Hey guys if you can tell me where that grass is from I'll give you a million bucks and then I wouldn't really give it to them even if they got it right but I'd give them ten thousand dollars for the cafeteria but they could only spend portions of it at a time." It was pretty early in the morning and I had just endured 3 finals the night before so I just laughed at his comment and thought he was just a talkative guy. I didn't think he was crazy but he soon proved me wrong.

"Man, so do you play any sports?" he asked me. "Yeah, I play basketball," I told him. "DUDE NICE! Do you like playing on the bench or are you a string player man?" "I haven't decided yet,"I said. "Dude, I MEAN DO YOU LIKE SHOOTING AND DRIBBLING OR ARE YOU ALWAYS STUCK BACK AT HOME AND TYPING ON THE COMPUTER AND DRONING ON AND ON?" His voice crescendoed as he kept going. At this point, I was a bit terrified at the sudden change of topic in our one-sided conversation but Mr. Crazy didn't stop. "Ya gotta have a healthy outlet, ya know? I mean you should start watching tv. Do you watch tv? There's some good entertaining crap out there! You could be working on that college essay and then you watch some tv so that you can relax and when you get back to the essay you'll be pretty cold so you can put on a sweater and turn on the air conditioner and drink 8 glasses of water." By this time I was trying to see if there were other open seats around me but I didn't want to offend him, so I stayed right where I was.

He then moved onto bonsai trees and told me to look them up on the internet because they were fun. It wasn't until he started talking to himself that my opinion of him changed a bit. I started talking to him about the Lakers and how they were the best team in the world. I moved onto childhood cartoons that I really liked and after I was done, he started talking to me about first impressions.

"You need to look people straight in the eye and talk to them about something that'll get their interest, man. You need good posture. That'll get you far in life. Sometimes, to help people out you need to push them off that cliff and not throw them a rope. And when that tide comes and knocks them on their asses you need to threaten to leave and not come back. That'll get them to fight."

I realized that the bus had arrived at the train station at this point. I smiled at him and he waved. "You're all set man, you have your two bags and your backpack. You're ready." He said. I smiled and thanked him and left the bus.

I had a sneaking suspicion that Mr. Crazy didn't really get a chance to talk to people. Today was easily one of the most interesting conversations I've had in a while. Thank you Mr. Crazy.

yesican

2008-03-06T23:11:00.000-08:00

it's been a crazy week. my grandma had a stroke last week and i've been back home both weekends to help out. the hospital has basically become a second home for my mom, so i've tried to take over shifts for her. my grandma's making great progress though, she's been exercising really well. i really appreciate the nurses that take time and care into every one of their patients, i can't imagine how a typical day for them must be like. which is why i find medicine so appealing. it's something i've decided that i want to do and i've taken steps towards realizing that goal. lately i've felt that God has definitely laid the pieces out for my future and now i need to place them together.
more later!

let it rain

2008-02-22T13:03:00.000-08:00

Man, it's cold. I realize I haven't blogged here too much about my experience with food and DOTA but I've been mainly writing in my journal. I'm starting to plan out my class schedule, next quarter seems to be pretty exciting. My suitemates have decided to form an intramural basketball team and I've decided to commit to Harvest. There's also a beginning ukelele class that looks awesome.

nope

2008-02-13T09:19:00.000-08:00

I've given up fast food and everything of that nature for Lent. So I'm stuck here at Muir's dining hall trudging through this gloopish oatmeal and yogurt. It ain't bad. In addition to attempting to experience what a little deprivation feels like, I hope that the absence of McDonald's and Bobcats will inspire me to rely more on the Bible. I'll blog something about it each day. Retreat is coming up this weekend. I hope the experience will be worth it!

hahaback

2008-02-09T23:16:00.000-08:00

I've decided to come back to blogger because I find the privacy alluring. Between the time that I've left and come back much has happened. I've gone to college, I've found a new fellowship and next week I'm going camping. I'm not sure if I've changed much but I can definitely see a change in my perspective on life. College has been full of interesting and different people, I've met a lot that somewhat share my views on life and some that definitely don't. I feel like it is this group of people, the group that I don't particularly click with that I should spend more time to get to know better. My suite has been one of the more diverse groups than the other suites, which makes for some interesting situations. God compels me to come out of my shell because He's made me realize I'm way too shy for my own good. So my prayer for this year is to really grab life by the huevos.

Ukraine

2007-07-12T12:04:00.000-07:00

So "Jesus" in Ukraine is Hee-Soos. I got that from the Hillsong Ukraine album. It's awesome. "One Way" sounds exactly the same, just in Ukraine.

Man, summer is going by quickly.

Voicez

2007-07-03T23:41:00.000-07:00

My friends and I have both realized that I don't listen very well. I'm pretty sure that part of my failure to listen can be blamed on how badly I respond to my parents. I've realized that when I talk with my parents I always scan through my mind for the quickest response that'll relieve me of any further interaction with them. So there you have it guys. That is exactly why I cannot listen. My parents' countless years of "nagging" have turned into a point of paramount significance as to why I have a blank look on my face when someone talks to me.

For example, yesterday my mom called me over to the dinner table and asked me if I had cleared the clutter of paper that had somehow manifested on my desk. Obviously, for choices there were the easy "yes" and the more honorably foolish "no" to go through. I quickly made my choice and walked back to my room unscathed. Before you guys judge me, just know that if I had chosen the latter as my answer, a simple scold would not have sufficed for my mother. No, she would've somehow transmogrified the scold into a 10-page invisible Rant that would've instilled in me a feeling of awe and admiration. Awe and admiration for how quickly my self-esteem can plummet.

So, in an attempt to both warn you and dig myself a larger hole, I'll reveal some signs as to when I don't listen.
-when you say something about your day.
-when you say something about someone else's day.
-when you say something about someone-you-know-but-not-really's day.
-when you say something that ends with "oh man it was so funny." If you got that far and my attention was still retained, that's great, but that last bit there probably erased all memory of the previous 10 seconds we just shared.

I don't mean to come across as someone better than you, because that really isn't my intention. It's just, I don't know, say something that's not funny.

Mut Yeh

2007-06-20T22:20:00.001-07:00

Why do Cantonese opera singers sing as if they WANT to annoy you? I don't know if you've ever noticed a canto opera singer, but that's not possible because you can't ignore them. They have these nasally, high-pitched whiny voices when they sing, but when they converse normally they sound fine. I know I can't impose any judgment upon the canto opera culture, because lawd knows I can't even speak the language properly. But the singing just sounds ridiculous. Imagine my obnoxious voice a few decibels higher making a mockery of the Cantonese language, throw in an erhu and you'd basically have a Cantonese opera singer.

My last camp as a camper. It was just yesterday when I attended my sister's graduation and I was on my way to my first youth camp.

Not really

2007-06-15T12:19:00.000-07:00

Rebecca kept saying, "I can't believe you're graduating" last night. I can't either. It hasn't fully hit me yet. It feels simultaneously exhilarating and scary to think that I'm done with high school. That another chapter in our lives has come to an end, and we have an entire summer to prepare for the next one. The end had to come sometime, though. We can't stay high schoolers forever. The world around is constantly changes, and if we don't change with it we'll surely get swept away.

If anything, high school was practice for the real world. As a freshman I'd never thought about the end, but now that everything is done there's a greater appreciation for how much high school has changed me. Other high school graduates had to have gone through what we're going through right now, and the sight of them so adjusted and complacent with their current lives is a depressing one. Eventually it'll happen to us.

Man I love this guy

2007-06-11T23:16:00.000-07:00

Laughter.

If there was one word that would represent our friendship, it'd be laughter. I can't remember a single incident in our 11 year-old friendship when laughter was missing. We've gone through a lot together, from fighting over Power Rangers in Kindergarten to moving to Temple City together. He's grown a lot since then, and it's amazing to see how much he's changed. He's always been this charismatic guy and one that has somehow been able to end up wherever I have been. Except college.

August will probably come too soon, and I dread the idea of not seeing a certain familiar face as I walk around campus. But I know that we'll keep in touch, somehow someway.

here's to 50 more years of friendship...

Korean Game

2007-06-10T23:09:00.000-07:00

Matt just posted the video we recorded of the korean game we played during our orchestra finals. For the shameless, you can find it here.

"How do you win?"
"You don't"

Wong Fu

2007-06-10T10:30:00.000-07:00

It's cool to see how far these guys have come from their SD days. From making their music videos to filming an entire feature-length film, the Wong Fu guys have seriously followed their dreams. It was great meeting the guys last night, they were really grateful to each person that came. There was like 2 white guys.

MW

2007-06-07T22:12:00.000-07:00

I felt a slight tinge of sadness as I signed yearbooks at Shawn's. This was going to be one of the few nights left that I had to spend with the guys. It was nice just doing what they always have been doing, chilling and being homies. The bacon-wrapped hot dog was an invention by George that very few will top. The drawings by Daniel that almost had me choking on soda from laughter were ones I'll never forget. And as always, Shawn provided a house with parents so incredibly considerate and hospitable that they're the defining meaning of the term "Christian".

I've found myself signing yearbooks with entries filling up entire pages with advice riddled across the glossy paper. I really don't know what allows me to give advice, I guess they're more of words that I'd like to follow as well but know that I probably won't. Anyway, I'm grateful to the ones that thought I was a good enough friend to spend an entire evening with, writing both sentimental and really disgusting notes of love.

Anyway, WongFu Productions is hosting another public screening of "A Moment With You" this Saturday, their first feature-length film as amateur filmmakers. I can't wait to be with Rebecca.

Housing

2007-06-06T23:24:00.001-07:00

I turned in the housing contract to SD about two hours ago. Another step closer to college.

Senior Goodbye

2007-06-06T23:22:00.000-07:00

High School is like lasagna, layered and repetitive but oh so good.

Our first year as freshmen was full of cheesy moments as we dived deeper into the school year. We can call our freshman year the “suffering year”, when we were vulnerable and exposed to the world around us. We went through a lot that year, from becoming the lowest form of beings in high school to understanding the culture around us. It was the year we learned and matured the most. We learned that raving was no longer socially acceptable in any circles and that Axe body spray smelled good only to the person bold enough to carry the scent. There’s a reason why we were then named “wise fools” the following year.

And as we get to our meatier sophomore and junior years, we’re already full, sick of high school and looking forward to what comes next. But there’s that last cheesy layer, our senior year, that we finish anyway because high school has taught us the beauty of gluttony. There is never too much of a good thing, and with high school, it’s especially true.

Come August and September there’ll be a new campus awaiting all of us and a new piece of lasagna to tackle. For some of us, our hunger for education goes beyond the first slab and we’ll pursue higher college degrees. Whatever we decide to do, life will eventually circle back to the year when we were freshmen in high school, the year when everything was new and exhilarating.

So to the current freshmen class, congratulations on making it through the first year. Rest easy, because life only gets better from here. To impart some final words of wisdom, here’s a quote by Steve Carrell’s character Frank in the movie “Little Miss Sunshine”. “High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don’t get better suffering than that.” Life is cheesy, guys. Have fun.

Renaissance

2007-06-02T09:23:00.000-07:00

The feeling of moving on and change really kicked in at the Renaissance assembly. The only other time when all seniors will gather on the field to celebrate will be in two weeks, during our graduation. It's amazing how all my friends are going to different schools. It's tough to embrace change, but that's what we'll all do come August or September, whether we're ready or not. I can't wait for San Diego.

TRITONS!!!

MW

2007-05-28T11:07:00.000-07:00

Publish Post
A lot has happened this past week. Pool project (for the past week), Senior Beach Day, church, basketball. I can't wait until college, but I'm trying my hardest to savor the rest of this year. So many graduates of TC have told me to hang on to the moments left in Temple City. It's hard. This year has went by so quickly, I can still remember when I first moved here in sixth grade. Temple City will always be a home I remember, and the friendships I've made here, I hope, will last. So to the group of guys on the left here, I hope we'll see each other in the future, because I can't imagine a better group of homies.

words of wisdom

2007-05-23T23:37:00.000-07:00

Just got back from physics, project, so I'll leave today's post with a verse:

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."

Galatians 5:22-23

A Start

2007-05-21T22:50:00.000-07:00

So I started this blog because I can't find the password to my livejournal.

I chose the name "A Pile of Thoughts" after the comments my English teacher Mr. Hoague left on my first paper this year. It was the only and greatest D+ I've earned this year.